This week I snapped a picture of my girls as they were waiting to start their gymnastics class. I didn’t look at the picture very closely, until I got home. When I went back to review all the pics I took from the day, the image of them standing there together stopped me dead in my tracks.
Why?
Because I saw myself smiling up at me in the camera. You see, I was a gymnast when I was younger and I saw so much of myself in both my girls as they excitedly waited to start their class.
I had this crazy epiphany as I stared at the picture. I looked at the way my older daughter willingly smiled and my younger daughter more defiantly faked her smile. It was like I saw my own childhood and life to this point flash before my eyes.
The picture made me realize, perhaps for the first time even, that my little girls will eventually grow up to be women.
Just like I did.
I think as a mom who is in the thick of it now with little kids, I don’t always think about who they will be in 30 years.
Do you?
I focus more on their sleep schedule and eating habits. I worry about their safety. And well basically, I am trying to teach them how to be good, kind-hearted and lovable kids. But I haven’t allowed myself to really and truly think about what they will be like when they are my age.
But in that moment, looking at that picture, I realized they will get there.
Where I am right now.
As much as there are days I seek freedom and breaks from mommin’ it, I don’t want these days to end. I don’t want to know days where my girls are gone and raising their own families and I don’t kiss them good night and know that they are safely tucked in their beds. I want to keep them safe and in my arms forever.
But, that is not what is going to happen. They are going to go out into the world and find their way and their place.
I pray that when that time comes, that my husband and I have given them everything they need to be confident, successful and happy.
It got me thinking about the things I really want my girls to know and understand as they grow. Things that in my 41 years I have learned, tried to embraced and sometimes regrettably shied away from for one reason or another.
So here they are in no particular order, the things I want my girls to know as they navigate through life.
- You can be and do anything you want to do in this world. Hard work and never giving up will bring you everything you want.
- Always be gracious, even to people who don’t deserve it.
- Your body is yours only.
- No is always an acceptable answer. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something, don’t.
- You can be smart AND beautiful. And in fact, you are both.
- Smile and dance, often. Joy often brings more joy.
- Make your own choices, even if they don’t seem “cool”. Being your own person is cool. Trust me.
- Take pride in your appearance, but don’t let it define you. There is so much more to who you are than what size you wear.
- Find your friends and love them hard. Less is more when it comes to friendships. Be selective with your inner circle.
- Forgiveness is important. Especially forgiving yourself.
- A man’s love won’t complete you, your own self-love will.
- Don’t allow yourself to be a victim, be a warrior instead.
- Celebrate the happy moments. Those moments are what life is about.
- I will love you always, no matter what.
As I thought about this list, I found it to be a powerful reminder for myself too.
It’s easy to say these things, but the best way to teach our girls, is to show them. To lead by example.
So this list serves not only as a guide for my girls, but as a framework for me and can be for you as well.
I encourage you to sit down and make your own list and take a look at what you wrote. Your list might look a little bit different than mine. But this was an incredibly powerful exercise for me. I am going to print this list out and post it where I can see it everyday. As a reminder for who I am and who I need to be.
And perhaps, my last entry on this list should be this:
Remember, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
