It’s amazing what you see, when you look!

This past weekend I went down to NY to see my Dad and my sisters to celebrate their birthdays. We had a wonderful time! We were on the ferry coming back on Sunday and I noticed a family sitting near us. It was a mom, a dad, and two little girls. They were slightly older than my girls are, probably closer to age 10. The mom had a good look about her. She was tall and thin, dressed well and seemed like someone who had it all together.

A little while later, I noticed the same woman and one of her daughters having an intense conversation. The conversation went along the lines of mom saying, “Are you really going to act like this? That is not what I meant to say, please don’t start this.”

A few minutes after that, the kids got up and walked away with their dad. It was clear the daughter and mom had gotten into an argument. And the little girl wanted to get away.

The mom said, “ So you are really walking away?”

The little girl said nothing and turned her back and went off. And I watched as mom put her head down on her arms in defeat.

I could feel her sadness.

Her sense of being overwhelmed and feeling exhausted was so apparent.

And I knew exactly what she was saying to herself in those moments. And my heart ached for her.

I so badly wanted to go and comfort her. To say something that would make her feel better, but I didn’t know what to say. Or what to do. I contemplated writing her a little note and leaving it on her table. I just felt so strongly in that moment that I wanted to comfort her, this woman I didn’t even know.

As I was trying to figure out what I should do, the little girl came back. She put her head down on the table in an almost identical position as her mothers. Mom didn’t move. So the little girl got up, and sat next to her mother and put her head on her shoulder. Without saying a word, mom turned and wrapped her arms around her and comforted her.

You could tell they both needed the embrace. Neither one said a word, but in that moment all was forgiven. It was an incredibly beautiful and moving thing to witness.

It made me realize that even in our worst moments, even in the hours, days, weeks or months we feel like we are not doing a good job parenting, we are.

Our kids still love us. They still need us.

They still want us to comfort them and hold them and let them know they are ok.

And sometimes mom, the grown woman, needs comfort too.

It got me thinking about how sometimes we are in situations where our friends or acquaintances need our comfort, support and encouragement. But we don’t really know what to say or do.

I decided to look into simple ways we can let our loved ones know we care and to comfort them when they need it. Thanks to google, I came up with a list of simple acts of kindness to let a friend know you love them.

These are somewhat obvious. BUT, as I was writing them I realized I could be doing more of these things for people in my life. Especially for my mom friends. So I thought it would be worth sharing, in case you feel the same way. Here they are in no particular order.

Simple Acts of Kindness:

Call her up and let her vent. Sometimes there is nothing better than a real live conversation on the phone. They are so rare these days! In a world of texting, DMs and facebook posts, actually letting a friend talk and vent while you truly listen is a wonderful gift. It can be just what a girl needs to release the burden she has been feeling and get back to being her usual fabulous self!

Take her out for a cup of coffee. A little coffee talk (said in my strongest NYC accent) can go a long way! Spending time together over a cup of coffee can feel like a fabulous moment of self care for both of you!

Buy her a really good book you read. Share the love. If you have read a book that made you laugh or inspired you in some way, or touched your heart, give it to your friend. Write a sweet note inside that she can read every time she opens the book.

Invite her to come exercise with you. Nothing says I love you and I trust you like letting a friend see you sweat! Now of course, only do this if your friend is someone who enjoys exercise and working out. If weight and exercise is a sensitive subject, this may not be the best idea.

Send her a lovely hand written note. We all love getting unexpected things in the mail. So a little note just letting someone know you care about them can be the perfect surprise to make someones day. Also, in a world where technology is king, taking time to select a note card and write something out sends a major message. It says, I care about you. You matter to me.

Babysit her kids. If you have a mama friend who doesn’t get a break too often, offer to watch her kids so she and her hubby can go out. She will forever be grateful for the time off from being Mom and the chance to just be a woman for a few hours. Sometimes that is all we need to reset and recharge.

Bake her some sweet treats. If your friend is someone with a sweet tooth, baking some sweat treats and dropping them off at her doorstep can really make her feel loved! This recently happened to me and I was on cloud 9 for like a week!

Send her flowers. Sending a pretty bouquet is a wonderful way of letting a friend know that you are thinking of them and care about them. Flowers also feel like a bit of a luxury, something a girl wouldn’t always buy herself. So it feels like a little indulgence that brightens a room and a heart!

Plan a girls day/night. We all say we want to go out with friends, but actually making the plans AND following through with them can be challenging when we are busy taking care of our family. So take the initiative and plan a fun night out with your friend and make it easy for her. She will love that all she has to do is show up!

Ask her what she needs! It can be hard to ask for help. In fact, for some people it is downright impossible. But if you directly offer to support your friend in anyway she needs, she might be more willing to take you up on it!

Now these things may not solve your friends problems, but they just might comfort her. These simple ideas can help you remind her that she matters to you and she is cared about. That is something I think we can all benefit from feeling now and then.

In a world where we so quickly tear each other down, let’s build each other up! I am vowing here and now to make a real effort to do more of the things on this list for my friends and throw my kindness around like, well glitter that you can’t clean up! Because why not be the person who leaves a sparkly trail of love behind her?

You know what? I can almost bet that not only will it make my friends feel loved, it will make me feel good too! Total win/win in my book.

And remember ladies, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!

Kathleen