Success or Self Doubt?
I am a stay at home mom with a small marketing and branding coaching business that is starting to grow. Most days I feel pretty good about the choices I have made and where I am in my life right now. But I would be lying if I didn’t say there are days when I see what other people are doing, or what they have accomplished, or the things they have and I start to question myself.
I am sure you guys are familiar with that good old comparison trap! It can be tough to escape it sometimes. Especially if you are someone like me who is always striving for more in her life or business.
How often have you focused on what other people have and then begin to think about what you haven’t accomplished?
I was doing that this week. Like a lot. I was measuring myself against others and feeling like I continuously came up short. Not a good feeling.
The good news is, I caught myself doing it. And I decided to challenge that mindset. Mainly because thinking like that gets you nowhere fast!
So I put myself through a little exercise about defining success.
And you know what?
I came out realizing that while right now I might not have a massive business with all of the success I dream of, I am still pretty successful.
You see, everything we do in life is a choice. Everyday we make choices based on our core values, beliefs and ideas.
It is easy to get caught up in how other people define success but the truth is, in order to live a happy life, you have to define success in your own terms.
And it’s different for everyone. For one person it might be making a million dollars and traveling the world, for others it might be successfully raising a family and for others it might be as simple as having a good job and enough money in the bank to do everyday things.
After answering a series of questions around success, I realized something pretty powerful.
What I realized for myself is that I do feel successful. Despite what my mind wants to tell me after I have scrolled through social media for longer than I should.
I have been able to accomplish and maintain the very things I have set out to do for myself and my family. And while I might not be Keeping Up With Kardashians, I am certainly impacting the people in my life. And that feels good.
I love the quote,
At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou
To me, that’s a huge part of my definition of success. I want anyone who touches my personal brand or business to walk away feeling empowered, inspired and like they can make their dreams come true.
Now don’t get me wrong, I also want the financial success to buy all the beautiful clothes, go on the amazing vacations, contribute to date nights out and help finish renovating our home.
The exercise I completed actually helped me to map out the things I can do moving forward to make that second part of my success definition happen! I feel confident and motivated to move forward.
It’s amazing how something as simple as answering a few questions and reframing your mindset can totally change the way you approach life!
And you know what? Feeling successful now, drives me to want to keep going!
A few days ago I was feeling blah and now I’m like watch out world, here I come! And honestly, this exercise goes beyond business.
When I think about these questions, they can be used to help you frame your thinking around parenting, relationships, self-care, fitness or anything else you want to accomplish in your life.
So if you are doubting yourself at all or feeling unsure in your choices, ask yourself this:
- What does success mean to you?
- Do you feel successful?
- Why?
- What would it take for you to feel successful?
- Name some successful people you admire?
- What are the qualities about those people you like most?
- Is there an area of your life or business you want to feel successful in?
- What will it take for you to get there?
- Think about what skills you have now that will help you be successful. What are they?
- Are there new skills do you need to acquire?
- What else can you learn?
- What do you need to leave in the past?
After you have answered these questions, write out your own personal mantra about success and hang it up somewhere that you can see it often. Read it and re-read it again. Especially on days you feel unmotivated or even defeated.
Remind yourself how far you have come and how far you are capable of going!
And remember ladies, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
