This weekend I did something I never imagined I would do.
Are you ready for it? Remember that awesome dress I found on Ebay a few weeks ago that I was dying to wear to a formal event we have coming up? Well, I started to second guess it. I started to question that maybe that dress wasn’t really THE look I wanted for our night out and there was something better out there. You know, the whole the grass is greener vibe.
So, I did what any determined woman would do. I dragged my entire family all around the mall in search for something better. And I looked, and looked, and looked.
Can you guess what happened?
I came up with nothing!
In fact, it was impossible to find my size and even harder to find something that felt fashion forward but still appropriate for the occasion. Nothing came close to matching the vibe of the one I found on Ebay.
We left the mall and I thanked my family for going through that exercise with me. I told my husband that it validated for me that I had the right dress.
But the whole process got me thinking. Why did I need to go through that exercise to begin with? It’s clear I was seeking either confirmation or looking for something better. What was going on with my mindset?
What was stopping me from feeling super confident in my choice from the beginning?
I am usually a pretty decisive person. And I don’t often second guess decisions. I make my choice and I move forward. When it comes to a confidence checklist, the making decisions box is checked for me!
So this was out of the ordinary for me. Especially when it comes to clothing. HA!
Did I really think the grass is greener in Nordstrom? Apparently I did!
I decided to read up a little more on why people are often looking for the next best thing or wanting something different or more in life.
You guys must know that feeling. The feelings of: well, if I only I had her career, or I had her body or I had that house. THEN I would be happy.
Did you know that there is an actual syndrome called The Grass Is Greener Syndrome?
Yes!
Basically it’s when people aren’t able to feel happy or content in their current situations whether it be relationships, careers, homes and apparently, formal gowns. Their mindset is that what they have isn’t enough.
The Grass Is Greener Syndrome causes people to wonder and think about what the next best thing is, or what they might be missing out on and who might be having more fun or living a better life.
Even if we don’t necessarily have the syndrome, I imagine at some point in our lives almost all of us have experienced these feelings of restlessness or wanting “more”.
Especially given the world we live in. We have a zillion choices at our fingertips and are constantly bombarded with messages on social media of what appears to be people living these amazing lives.
It can lead us to being unable to commit, to feeling unhappy and jumping from one place to the next.
And guess what, when we do take that leap to the other grass, we find out that it is no different, no greener. And we are still unhappy!
So what do we do about it?
Well, the best thing we can all do is practice mindfulness.
When we are mindful, we focus on all that we do have in the moment vs. all that we don’t have.
When we are mindful, our mind is at peace. And when our mind is at peace, we are able to appreciate and feel content with what we have. We can feel happy.
Sounds pretty easy right?!
I am not suggesting we stop striving for greatness or being ok staying in a situation that is unhealthy for us.
Not at all. In fact, I want you to go get what’s yours girl. I know I am going after mine.
But as we chase those dreams it is so important to be aware that where we are NOW is what is most important.
I am obsessed with the quote:
Today is a gift that’s why we call it the present.”
I even have it hanging on a plaque in my kitchen as a reminder to be mindful of all the good in my life.
We can achieve happiness by building a life around where we are now. Building friendships, creating positive routines and finding ways to enjoy the simple moments are all so powerful to creating mindfulness.
It’s time to let go of dwelling on all of the things we could be doing or the places we could be going. Or in my case, the clothes I could be wearing!
Instead, I am going to wear the dress I have in all of it’s glory and be grateful that the universe gave it to me in the first place. And for that, I will be happy.
And remember ladies, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
