Happy Valentine’s Day!
Today is a day we celebrate love. It’s a wonderful moment to show our spouses, kids and girl friends how much we care. And while some people may see today as a Hallmark Holiday, I actually think it’s a wonderful tradition.
I love the idea of decorating the house in pink and glitter (obvi) and giving gifts to my girls that I know they will love and be super excited about. It’s a nice little moment to break up the long winter months that we face, especially here in New England.
Now, pre-kids I would have expected my husband to roll out the red carpet. You know, a huge bouquet of flowers, a fancy dinner AND a gift for Valentine’s Day. I am kind of high maintenance like that.
But fast forward being married just about 7 years and two small children later, those things don’t seem as important to me now. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t say no to any of those things, because who would?! But there is something I value more these days.
What is important to me now, is time together. And connection. Outside of our children.
This time was something my husband and I were both feeling like we weren’t doing the best job at towards the end of last year. So often we would collapse on the couch and zone out until one of us fell asleep. Sound familiar to anyone else?
So we decided to put ourselves back into the dating scene for 2019. Except, we are taking a different approach. We don’t have any family local to watch our kids and finding a sitter isn’t always an option, but it doesn’t mean we can’t still have date night!
What do we do?
Well, instead of my husband taking me out, he takes me IN!
We make sure no matter what, that on Saturday night we spend our evening together without distraction aka, falling asleep in front of the TV.
So what do we do on our date nights?
Well, we cook a nice dinner, open a bottle of wine (or two) and share the meal together. We don’t look at our phones. We just talk about whatever has been going on in our lives and work and our kids.
After we eat, we move our date to the den where we have been sitting in front of the fireplace to continue the conversation. It’s been a really nice experience and last week, we even dreamed up how to add a mudroom space to our house!
Of course I would jump at the chance to get dressed up and go out with my man, but I can appreciate that we are making the best of where we are at right now in our lives and finding a way to keep our connection in tact.
If you are like us and want to still enjoy each others company there are lots of date nights you can do with your hubs that don’t require you going out and spending a lot of money!
I’ve been researching different things we can do together to create memories, experiences and laugh.
Here are some ideas that I plan to try:
- Playing board games or putting puzzles together. I love this idea of working together on accomplishing something….it’s team building and I can’t think of a more important team than that of husband and wife. Also a little friendly competition never hurt either!
- Pizza Making Night. The Manning family loves pizza and this sounds like something fun we can do that’s a little bit different from our normal meals we cook.
- Theme Night. I think this could be a really fun way to spice up a night. French night? Think French foods, wine, a French movie and obvi a cute outfit inspired by the culture. It could really be any theme you want, just think about how to go all in with it – not just with the food. Make it fun!
- Wine and Cheese Pairing Picnic. This is a fun way to learn more about how foods and wines pair together and change up your environment to be more relaxed and casual. If its too cold to go outside, throw down a blanket in your den and take a seat!
- Break a Guiness World Record. My husband and I were JUST talking about how we loved to read this book when we were kids. Wouldn’t it be fun to look at some of the records and then spend a night trying to break one of them? Talk about the laughs you would have!
- Write a Story together. I love this idea. It could be super fun to dream up a fictional world that you create together and decide the twists and turns of the characters fate. And who knows, you might just end up with a best-seller on your hands.
- Play “would you rather”. This is a fun game to learn more about your spouse in a way you might never have known.
- Book Club for Two. Pick a book and commit to reading it together and then talking about it.
Here is what I know. Marriage takes work and it is not always a walk in the park. But something as simple as doing these date nights in has really helped my husband and I spend more quality time together and it has improved our communication.
Spending time together is essential to making your relationship feels like it is going well and it is strong. The strength of your relationship directly impacts how well you feel supported and loved. It’s a confidence builder for sure!
So much of our sparkle is tied to energy we get from our partners. But I say, instead of adapting to their energy, influence it. Small changes such as being intentional about the time you spend together can make huge impacts.
And when your relationship is the best vibe it can be, you are able to shine in other aspects of your life: motherhood, business, friendship, health and wellness.
And remember ladies, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
