It happened to me this morning and I will be honest when I say, it left me feeling drained, exhausted and stressed. Even wearing my leopard booties and chunky chenille sweater can’t seem to lift the funk I feel right now. WHAT?? How is that even possible??
Girl I know, crazy talk….but this was not how I woke up today! I woke up happy and energized and ready to kick some ass in my cute #OOTD.
So what the fuck happened?
Why do I let this happen?
How can someone else’s emotion have so much control over my own feelings?
Does this happen to anyone else?
I did a little research on if this is really a “thing” or not and apparently, a highly sensitive person will absolutely struggle with this. Lucky us! But at least now I know that I am not crazy and it’s actually a thing.
So, it got me thinking about what we can and should be doing to feel empathy and provide support to those in our lives, without actually taking on their stress. I mean, we can’t look fabulous on the outside and feel like crap on the inside. It is not fair to us. We deserve to have the same happiness as anyone else.
So here are some tips I found to reduce our likelihood of absorbing someone else’s emotions:
Start A Cool Girls Club. We can not control other peoples energy or emotion but we can certainly control who we invite into our daily lives. If you know that someone in your circle is an energy suck, than you have every right to dis-invite them to YOUR party. Or at the very least, limit your interaction with them. You are not being a mean girl, you are a highly sensitive person who is protecting yourself and your vibe.
Style Your Inner Self. We spend a lot of time thinking about our outer appearance, but what about what our inside looks like? Apparently when we react strongly to someone else’s stress, actions or words, it is not so much about what they are saying or doing, but more about US.
DROP THE MIC.
Our reaction to them is more about our own unresolved issues than it is anything they are doing. When we feel so strongly about someone else’s behavior, that is an indication that we need to look inward. What is the unresolved issue in our life that their behavior is triggering? What can we do about it to better manage our own emotions? Now that I clearly understand this, you can bet that these are major questions that I am definitely asking myself.
Stay In The Magic. Shortly after I started writing this blog I went to a coaching session. My entire vibe has changed as a result of it. Why? Because I found my sweet spot. I inserted myself into an environment that makes me feel good, valued and confident. My client’s energy is fabulous and together we make things happen for her. It feels good and I enjoy every second of it. When you control your environment and insert yourself in places where your energy is strong, it is easier to keep yourself from getting drained.
Take a Page out of Elsa’s Book. Let it go girl. Let go of the need for any sort of external validation from others. What we need is their support but not their validation. Often times, that desire for validation is what leads us to absorbing someone else energy because we feel a level of frustration in not getting the validation we seek. So let go of needing anyone else’s approval and look in the mirror. If you think the girl staring back at you is a badass, then guess what? She is!
Turn off the Mom Voice. So many of us are moms and feel this basic need to make sure that everyone around is happy and taken care of. It is part of our DNA as a mom. But what we need to remember is that we are not in control of how someone else responds, acts or feels toward us. So therefore, it is not our job to carry their emotional burdens. Repeat, it is not our job to carry their emotional burdens.
Being a highly sensitive person is not a weakness. I actually see it as an incredible strength that gives us the ability to love and care and comfort those around us. I wouldn’t change this part of me for anything. Especially now that I have some strategies to make sure my positive vibe stays in tact.
I’d love to hear what you all think and if you have any great ways for making sure you always shine.
Remember ladies, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
