Do It Yourself
The other day I was texting with my fabulous friend Tory. She was showing me some gorgeous canvases she had gotten done and we were talking about where she was going to hang them in her house. After she settled on a spot, she then did something that would never occur to me to do.
She fucking hung them herself!! OMG!! Talk about being impressed. And also feeling a little bit schooled at the same time.
Why?
Well, the fact that she can actually hang pictures straight, even heights and in the right spot is impressive. She even used real tools to do it! This was no thumbtack operation.
But even more impressive, the fact that she didn’t wait for anyone else to do it for her (read: her hubby). She wanted it done and so she did it for herself.
Hold up. Wait a minute.
Now you guys know that I am allllll about women being able to do anything and be anything they want, but I realized in that moment, that maybe sometimes I don’t walk my walk.
Why do I say that?
Well, I would never say, “I will hang the pictures myself”. I will say it again, it just simply wouldn’t occur to me to do it. I would wait for my husband to do it and then most likely get passive aggressive with him because it took way longer than I wanted for it to get done. #truth.
But I have to tell you, seeing her get it done, well it imprinted on my mind. And got me thinking.
It Is Our Job
Before I met my husband I did everything for myself. Because I had to. I was single, in my 30s and living alone in NYC. If I needed something done, I either took care of it OR I paid someone else to do. But either way, I was in charge of making it happen.
Where along the way did I lose that drive to just handle it?
My hubs is super handy and does a lot of our home renovations so I am sure that plays a part in me assigning in my head the things I can do and “can’t do”. What I realized though is that I can NOT count on him to handle ALL of my life.
It is my responsibility to make sure I feel whole and happy. To make sure I feel content and I feel successful. It is my responsibility to feel like at the end of the day I accomplished something and contributed to the world in a meaningful way. My happiness and my strength are solely my responsibility. It is no one else’s job.
I believe I am a strong woman, as are so many other amazing women I know. We don’t need anyone to give us permission, help us or do things for us. We can fully do it ourselves!!
What Holds Us Back
So, what holds us back from thinking we can do things? Do I not hang pictures because I think it’s a “man’s job”? Or that I couldn’t possibly hang it as well as my husband could do it? I mean the reality is probably not at first, but I am sure with a little practice, I could get good at it.
And that’s the thing. With a little practice, we can get good at anything. Just because you have never done something before, that isn’t a reason not to do it. In fact, that is the exact reason you should do it!! So is that what holds us back? Or is there more to it?
I decided to do a little more digging around what holds us back. I discovered a ton of reasons, but some of the biggest ones that really resonated with me are:
Self-doubt. I don’t know a woman alive who hasn’t questioned herself at one point or another. Even the most successful women doubt their expertise, their beauty or even their parenting skills. When we let the self doubt conversation take over in our heads, guess what happens? It almost always wins. For sure, it will always stop us from going forward. We are 100% the thoughts we create and if we tell ourselves we couldn’t possibly launch a successful business or lose the last of the baby weight or run a 10K….guess what? We won’t!
Indecision. It can be hard to make decisions about what it is we really want to do or accomplish. It takes us getting really honest with ourselves about what we need. The most successful women are able to make a decision and confidently move forward. When we are indecisive, we often go back and forth and change our mind a million times and ultimately, never change our lives. Or on a smaller scale, never get our pictures hung. Being able to feel confident in our choices will help us to get things done. So what stops us from being confident in our choices? Fear.
Fear. Often times it is hard to make a decision, not because there are so many fabulous choices to pick from, but because we are afraid of what will happen when we make our choice. What if I fail? Or I embarrass myself or my family? Maybe I will disappoint everyone? What if I succeed?? The thing is, fear is not real. It is created by our negative thinking and our self doubt. Successful women might feel those feelings but move forward anyway. They lean into the fear and focus on positive thoughts. The right mindset can see you through your fear and bring you to the other side.
Waiting. I think we can all relate to this one! I can recall more than one occasion where I have said “It’s just not the right time”. Maybe it’s because your kids schedule is so hectic, or you are in a busy season at work, or it’s the holidays and you are spread thin or you don’t have the money. The thing is, there will never be a perfect time to do anything. When you wait, you are hitting pause on your life. You are creating a stagnant vibe that only perpetuates into other areas of your life – your thoughts, your motivation, your habits. It’s almost as if you have told the energy around you to stop moving.
Just Do It
If you want to make something happen just do it. It doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to start. Un-pause that energy and let the universe know you are ready to make things happen. So start your blog, go to the grocery store and buy healthy food, get outside and play with your child. Whatever it is that you are secretly yearning to do. Just start.
I know that we are all capable of doing anything if we just get out of our own way. The only difference between us and the people we admire is the amount of action we take.
I challenge you to take action today on something and push the fear, self doubt and indecision to the side. It’s time for us to let go of what holds us back. Hit the un-pause button and go do what it is you want and need to do. And if you don’t know how, that is what Youtube is for!
Imagine where you would be by next year if you start now?
And remember ladies, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
