I Do My Best Work At Night
I’ve always been a night owl. Never a morning person. Ever. In fact, I was born in the middle of the night. There is something about night time that just makes me feel calm and inspired. It’s like I come alive at night. I don’t know if it’s the NYC girl in me and spending so much of my life in the city that doesn’t sleep, but I often feel like I can get so much done at night.
BUT…and there is always a but right?!
I have two small children. Ages 5 and 3. They like to go to bed early and wake up early. Now, it’s not too bad because they get up around 7am and they do sleep 12 hours straight most nights. So it’s not like 5:00am early, but it’s still early for a former “go to bed when the sun rises” kinda girl.
After my second daughter was born, I began finding it incredibly difficult to start my day at 7am right as the kids were both waking up. I was feeling tired, annoyed and just overwhelmed by their immediate needs and I was feeling resentful because I couldn’t fulfill my own needs.
You know, like shower.
So more often than not, I would just forgo taking care of me because it felt like I had no choice. The kids came first and that was the priority. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing by putting myself on the back burner. Boy, was I fucking wrong.
The Shift
I can’t remember exactly when things shifted for me, but I will say I remember waking up one day basically on the brink of a massive breakdown feeling like I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I couldn’t shower, or eat, or drink a warm cup of coffee, let alone get the kids fed and dressed and get myself dressed without feeling like I was in a constant state of struggle.
In reality, my struggle was so much bigger than those everyday tasks. I’m not sure if I even realized it at the time, but it was more about me feeling like I had lost myself on my own priority list. I could feel myself slipping off and I didn’t know how to get back on. If I am honest, it scared me. Anyone else relate to that struggle? Because in my life, that struggle is so fucking real.
So my brilliant husband said, well then just get up before they do and get yourself ready. Um, what???? Why did I NEVER think of that?
At first, the idea of setting an alarm and waking up at 5:30 or 6am everyday felt awful. Especially since I still wasn’t sleeping through the night. Because again, kids.
It wasn’t easy at first. It actually kind of sucked. But you know what I discovered?
The quiet hours of the morning kind of feel like the quiet hours of the night.
And instead of winding down, I have the chance to wind up.
Instead of feeling like I had no choice, I am now consciously choosing me.
How so?
Well, I slowly created a little feel good morning routine for myself. I started doing things that helped me feel more like the me I was, before I had kids. Things that helped me feel more put together and in control and satisfied. And clean. Because I would shower! Ha!
Morning Routine
So what exactly do I do everyday? It’s not earth shattering, but I will tell you ladies that the combination of all of it together has been life changing for me!
1. Not only do I shower, but I get dressed in REAL clothes (read: not yoga pants). I do my hair: yes I still use dry shampoo because washing my hair is a whole other story! I put on makeup. I put myself together in a way that makes me feel good and valuable. Not every outfit is heels and skinny jeans, but I take the time every day to think about what I look like.
2. I make my bed. Because I love a clean sleeping space, I grew up always making my bed and why not start my day by already accomplishing something before the sunrises! Helloooo positive mindset!
3. I eat a healthy breakfast and drink some HOT coffee. Putting good food into my body fuels me for the day. It sets the tone for my eating and gives me the energy I need. The hot coffee, well that’s just like a little slice of heaven. Nothing beats having that first sip of coffee in the quiet morning. I live for that simple pleasure.
4. I read something that is NOT social media. I try to read things that are positive and uplifting that will make me feel good about myself. I avoid social media in the morning as long as I can because lets be honest, no-one needs to start the comparison game at 7am in the morning.
All this happens before the kids wake up. And it feels great.
Back On The Priority List
Here is what I know to be true. There is such power in making even the smallest shifts in our behaviors.
This one shift of waking up an hour earlier has allowed me to remind myself and the universe that I matter.
That I exist as a woman outside of being someone’s mom.
I can breathe and collect my thoughts.
It’s my time to just be. And that feels good.
While something simple like getting up an hour earlier won’t necessarily solved every issue in your life it can certainly help your outlook on life, your approach to parenting, and your relationships. I don’t know about you guys, but I am definitely nicer when I like my outfit. ha!
But most importantly, finding a way to put yourself back on your priority list can allow you to feel like yourself again. For me, I realize that I have evolved and grown and changed and I will never be the same person that I was before kids. And that is totally ok. What I am now is even better. I am a woman who has made herself a priority. And I want that for you too.
Are you a priority to yourself? If yes, that’s awesome and I am so proud of you!
If you say no, well I encourage you to think about what small shifts you can make in your everyday life that can help you feel more “whole”.
It might be exactly what I did, or it might be something completely different. But I do know that we all always have a choice. You can choose exhaustion or you can choose empowerment. A simple shift can make all the difference in your life.
I would love to hear how you start your day and if you feel like you need a morning make-over! Share with us in the comments!
And remember, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
