Driving Miss…..CRAZY?!?!
My heart is pounding. My stomach hurts. My jaw is clenched. I am agitated and emotional all at the same time. I kiss my girls goodbye and my eyes tear up. My mind starts to race and I am freaking out on the inside and trying desperately to hold it together on the outside. I legit feel like I am going a bit crazy. What’s wrong with me? Can anyone guess?
Well, I have anxiety.
And one of my major triggers for episodes is driving long distances on highways where I don’t know where I am going. And today, I am doing just that.
You see, I want to see my family. They all live in NY and I live in Massachusetts. My cousin is getting married and today is her bridal shower. I don’t want to miss it. I feel like I miss a lot because of the distance, my schedule with two small kiddos and my fear of making the trips by myself without my husband.
I am scared. But I want to be there. I want to be able to feel like I am strong and capable and that my anxiety doesn’t control me. I want to feel normal and like I can get in a car and just go when I need to. I want to show my girls that their mommy is brave.
Facing Anxiety Head On
The moment I got the invitation I said I was going. I knew in my heart that it was time to face my fear. And I have been doing so much work on myself that I realized that this was the perfect time to do it. Truth be told, deep down, I knew I could do it. I knew that my feelings were just stories I was telling myself and not my reality. But anyone who has anxiety knows that all rationale can go out the window when it comes to facing a trigger.
So tears and fears aside, I got in the car and off I went. And you know what?
I crushed it!
Was I freaking out for most of the ride there? Yes.
Did I start to get nervous again when I had to think about going home? Yes.
Did I tell everyone and anyone who would listen that I was anxious about the ride home? Yes.
Did I survive it? Yes.
Do I feel accomplished and like my anxiety doesn’t always control me? HELL YESSSSSSS!!!!
Anyone who lives with anxiety knows that the struggle is so fucking real sometimes. And while I am not a therapist, I have found some ways to manage my anxiety so that it doesn’t get the better of me.
So that I don’t miss out on precious moments.
I thought maybe I could share them with you all in case anyone else was quietly dealing with the same struggle.
I will say, if you feel like your anxiety has taken over your life, I encourage you to talk to your doctor. There are things like therapy and medication that can help you. There is no shame in getting support when you need it. In fact, I think anyone who can recognize and ask for help is incredibly brave!
5 Ways I Manage My Anxiety
So in addition to getting the right medical care, here are some other things you can do:
1. Know your triggers. This is a big one for me. I finally figured out what scenarios set me off, and I am able to mentally prepare myself for getting through it. Now, I know it’s not always that easy and sometimes you get blindsided, but if you know that you are about to face something that can make you anxious, prep yourself for it!
Create positive thoughts you can tell yourself, enlist the right support from people you trust and set your boundaries for what you can and cannot handle. In this case, I mapped out my ride before I went, I even wrote down the directions in addition to having my GPS so I knew the roads I needed to take and made sure my husband had his phone with him so that if I needed to talk, he was there. Having all that “prep” done made it easier for me to calm myself down as I went.
2. Understand that your thoughts are not reality. Anxiety plays awful mind games with your head. Those negative thoughts you are telling yourself over and over again are most likely not true! We spend hours worrying about things that will never happen. So one of the greatest tools for me is to remind myself that what I am thinking is really not what is going on and my mind is making up stories.
3. Recognize that anxiety is energy. Think about how much energy, adrenaline and effort you put into feeding your anxiety? It’s exhausting right? Does anyone ever wake up the next day with what feels like a hangover from being so anxious? I know I do!
Imagine what it would be like if you could take that energy and flip it. Use your power for good so to speak? If you are able to give so much life to something that makes you feel bad, why not focus on doing something good when you feel the anxiety creeping in? I like to work out, write or try on clothes. It calms my mind and makes me feel productive. Maybe you like to clean or garden or paint. Whatever it is, turn what can feel like a negative situation into a positive one. And by the time you finish doing the thing you love, guess what?! You feel better!
4. Share your struggle. I kept my struggle with anxiety quiet for so long because I didn’t want anyone to know or think less of me. But an interesting thing started to happen when I decided to open up. Turns out, so many people around me felt the same way! It helps to be able to talk out your feelings with someone who understands, and it also helps to know that you are not alone. Not that I ever wish anxiety on anyone, but it did comfort me in those early days to know that I wasn’t crazy and that other people I admire and respect have similar issues.
5. Face it head on. If I have learned anything in these last few years it’s this. Nothing, and I mean nothing diminishes anxiety faster than taking action. I know for a fact the next time I take a long car ride somewhere, I will feel much better. Will I still have some anxiety? Of course, but will I be able to manage it and get through it? You know I will. Because I proved to myself that the story my mind was telling me wasn’t true. So facing your fears in a safe and productive way can do wonders for your mindset!
I also want you to realize that your anxiety doesn’t define you and it doesn’t have to control you. I am proof positive of that friend! I am always here to listen and to help you brainstorm strategies if you need a little extra support. You deserve to live your best life and shine as bright as you can! Remember ladies, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
Way to go! So glad you survived the drive and even wrote about it! Thanks for sharing your experience with us.