Can You Feel It?
Fall is magical for me. I just love it. There is an energy in the air…it almost feels like electricity to me. Pause for a second and listen quietly. Do you hear that low hum of excitement and buzz for new beginnings all around you?
We are collectively starting a new school year, embracing the beginning of colder weather, seeing new and vibrant colors in the foliage and of course, buying all the cute booties and sweaters a girl needs to have! I’m legit dying over all of the fashion and want all of it! I’m just a girl who loves her leopard print!
Cute clothes aside, the universe is literally telling us it is time to shift.
Who Doesn’t Love A Make-over?
This season marks the time to start fresh, move on and do something new. And I just LOVE that. Who doesn’t love a little make-over? I know I do. So it got me thinking about how I want to round out my 2018.
Truth be told, I have been working on a “make-over” for myself now for a few months and I feel like the fall season will be my coming out party. I am ready to take on the rest of this year with a fierceness and confidence I have never felt before. And I wanted to share with you the steps I took to get there. Because I believe every woman should enter this season feeling like the best version of herself.
Our outlooks should be just as fabulous as our fashion!
I am a certified life and business coach, and it’s my job to ask questions. I decided that I needed to ask myself some big ones to help me identify and understand why I was feeling the need for a make-over. A little personal development goes a long way in my opinion!
What I found was that I wasn’t in alignment. Huh? WTF is that? Well, my actions weren’t complimenting the person I wanted to be. And as a result, I felt uncomfortable and very discontent. I was more anxious than usual and depressed and it directly impacted my life and my business.
All this time I was attributing tangible things like money, homes, vacations, new clients etc, to my feelings, but turns out, I wasn’t living my truth. I was so focused on what I didn’t have, that I didn’t allow myself the opportunity to celebrate what I did have.
What Does Your Mind Think?
Your mind is a powerful fucking tool and your thoughts become your reality. So the more you feed it negative energy, the more negativity you will get in your life. Because that is your focus. BUT the more you feed it positive energy, well the more positive your life becomes.
And good attracts good.
Pretty simple concept. Before you roll your eyes, I can personally tell you from my own experience that your outlook makes a huge difference in your business, your family and your friendships. I have seen the shift for myself.
5 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself
Ok, so how did I get here? Well, I asked myself 5 questions to uncover where and why my actions weren’t meeting my emotional needs. And it was eye opening. So I encourage you to grab a pen and some paper and answer these questions for yourself. Go through this exercise with an honest and open mind and think about how you can shape these last four months of 2018 into something special!
1. What is it that I really want from my life? This is a pretty big question. And it will be answered differently by everyone. It’s important to ask yourself this and answer it as honestly and as detailed as you can. Get specific about what it is you want. Create the vision for your ideal life and write it all down and read and re-read it. Describe this life and how it looks and feels to you.
Now ask yourself, is what I am doing now drawing me closer to getting to that ideal life? For me, the obvious answer was no. Holy shit! I mean, how did I not see that one?! So if the answer is no for you too, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, ask yourself what you might be able to do in the next week or coming months that can bring you closer to living the life you want. Taking action is one of the quickest ways to elevate your vibe and feel good!
2. What makes me happy? People often say, I just want to be happy. But happiness has a different meaning for me than it might for you. Happiness is often considered something you will achieve when you make a certain amount of money, or own a home or land a huge client. BUT happiness can also come in other ways. Happiness for me is that first sip of coffee in the quiet morning before the house starts moving or finding a cute new pair of designer jeans at TJ Maxx. For someone else it might be getting 30 mins to sit quietly and read with no interruptions or a glorious walk in the sunshine.
The point is, you need to understand which smaller, more simple every day acts can spark joy for you. Are you doing enough of them? Are you acknowledging that they bring you joy? Happiness doesn’t have to be doled out in huge increments, small little smiles and laughs throughout the day add up! The more you appreciate the little moments the less aware you are of the negative ones. And the more content and happy you feel. It’s fascinating how that works!
3. How can I keep myself feeling good? This one is huge! We all have tough days but the goal is to feel good, more than we feel bad. I exercise most days because it makes me feel good, strong and capable. I value feeling strong and capable. That makes me feel good. I also love feeling connected. So it’s important for me to talk with, see and spend time with friends. When I feel strong, capable and connected I am unstoppable.
Determine which emotions you value most right now in your life. Make a list of them and then next to each one write down a way that you can meet that emotional need. Do those things everyday for a week and see how you feel. My guess, you will feel GOOD!
4. What helps me feel confident? Confidence can be tricky for so many women. Even the most “together” of us struggle with moments of self doubt and self worth. But we have all also felt pretty great at certain times in our lives too. So think about a moment in your life where you felt most confident. Was there something particular you were doing in that moment that boosted your self-esteem? Is it present in your life now?
If you are feeling less than confident at something, what can you do to help change that vibe? Quick tips include taking care of your appearance, being kind and generous to others, furthering your education or knowledge about a particular topic, standing tall, thinking positive, setting small goals and achieving them. All of these small steps can lead to huge strides in feeling like the confident badass woman you are!!
5. What diminishes my self esteem? This one wasn’t hard for me to answer. I knew almost immediately what activities, people and situations make me feel bad about myself. I’m pretty sure you can come up with those answers pretty quickly too. The trick here is figuring out how to deal with those situations so that they don’t have power over your emotions.
Once you can identify what makes you feel bad ask yourself this: What are the necessary boundaries I need to create to protect my own self worth? Think about this in terms of you strengthening your own sense of self. A powerful woman knows exactly who she is and what she needs and doesn’t need in her life. There is no shame in the boundary game!
What I’ve come to realize through my own journey of self discovery is that I have the power to make my life anything I want it to be. But no-one else is going to do the work for me, I have to do it. And that’s where I am now, doing the work for my personal life and for my business. I feel empowered, strong and ready to sparkle. My wish for you is that you can feel the exact same way in your life!
So get going on doing the work you need to do and remember ladies,
You’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!
