How to Stop Stopping Yourself


Why Not Me?
Do you ever find yourself really wanting something to happen in your life but it’s just not coming to you? You think you are doing all of the right things, but for reasons that you can’t understand, it’s just not materializing the way you hoped it would? I mean, you are trying to manifest the crap out of your life, so why isn’t the success, love, fit body, or healthy relationship you so deeply desire coming?

Well the simple answer is this. It’s you.

Wait, what?! How is that possible?

Yes, you read that right. It’s you!

What’s A Girl To Do?
Before you get upset with me, I want to explain. We all have a tendency to stop ourselves from doing things out of our comfort zone because of that dreaded four letter word: FEAR.

You may call it something else like perfectionism, procrastination, self-sabotage or even indecisiveness. Whatever word you want to use is fine, but understand that FEAR is what holds you back from just going for it and taking the massive action you need to succeed.

So what’s a girl who dreams of Chanel bags and Louboutin heels to do? How do you stop stopping yourself and get on with making your dream life happen?

If I have learned anything in my 40 years on this earth it’s that there is not one person or one thing that can make you happy or make you successful. It all has to come from within. You have everything you need to have the success you dream of, you just have to be willing to work for it.

Will Smith once said that the only difference between him and the guy next to him on the treadmill is that he is willing to die on that treadmill. Get it? He won’t ever quit, and he won’t ever let anyone beat him. That mindset is what separates the winners, the leaders and the influencers from the rest of the world.

So, maybe it’s time for us to “get jiggy with it” (like what I did there?!) and stop stopping ourselves from achieving the success we deserve.

Stop Stopping Yourself.
Here are some things you can do to stop stopping and start starting!

Ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? When you start to think about what you want to do and feel nervous, overwhelmed or worry that you might fail or look foolish, stop. Catch yourself in the moment and ask yourself this: “what is the worst that will happen?” What do you come up with?

Unless you can honestly answer that someone might die, there is nothing that can happen that you can’t rebound back from. When you recognize and realize that nothing is life or death and that no real harm can come from trying, it allows you to let go of the fear and embrace the possibility of what could be. So, LET THAT SHIT GO.

Decide what you really want in your life, and be HONEST. Here is the thing, a lot of times we aren’t honest with ourselves about what we really want in life. We may say we want something to happen, but deep down we don’t really want it. Or the opposite, we say we are happy and content with the way life is, but secretly we are dying inside because we want so much more. So the key here is to be brutally honest with yourself and own whatever it is you want. It’s your life and if you want to make it a big one, own it.

Don’t over complicate it. You know what you want to achieve in your life, so keep it simple and keep your eye on the end game. Don’t overcomplicate things with too many layers, or people or processes. You want to get from Point A to Point B. You don’t need to make a million pit stops along the way and get derailed. Stay focused and understand what you are working towards.

Make a plan. This one is SOOO important. One of my favorite quotes is “goals without plans are just dreams”. And it’s so true! You want to build a business, or get a promotion or buy a house? Well, you need a plan to get you there. Sit down and figure out what steps you need to take and map it out. Understand exactly what you need to do and stick to the plan.

Get support. Find the right people who can help you. Hire a coach, work with a mentor or seek out friendships with people who are doers. I read once that if you are the most successful friend in your circle, it’s time to find new friends. While that might sound harsh (and I don’t fully agree), the idea is that if you want to elevate you need to be around people who think big, act big and live big. So find some of those people and spend time with them.

Just do it. And lastly, all the planning, support and embracing doesn’t mean anything if you don’t just go for it and take that first step. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Or even pretty. In fact, it can be clumsy, awkward and ugly. But once you take that first step, well a whole new world opens up.

Imagine what your life could be if you allow your sparkle to shine?

I am on a quest to shine as bright as I can, so if you want to join me, I would love to have you as part of my tribe! Come hang with us over at The Sparkle Coterie on Facebook and connect with amazing women who are going for it in a big way!

And remember ladies, you’re not fully dressed until you sparkle!

Kathleen